Thursday, October 16, 2008

Here Come the Coaches!

Have you ever wondered which college coaches would make the best QB or Wideout or Linebacker? Well, probably not...but I have. So I put together a team of coaches that I guarantee could whoop the Bengals ass (and maybe have a smaller criminal record). Here you go...


QB: Jim Harbaugh, Standford...Come on, no brainer. He has to wear his Captain Comeback headband though.

RB: Nick Saban, Alabama...Small, scrappy, chippy, and a dick. Hey, we have a running back!

FB: Ken Niumatalolo, Navy...Knows a variety of offenses, relatively young, and has the discipline
needed to bash heads.

LT: Stan Brock, Army...He may be 50, but he could still pancake any fool that gets in his way. He also was walking 2 miles a day two weeks after surgery for prostate cancer. If I had that surgery, I would be curled up in bed with an ice pack under my butt 2 weeks later...
LG: Charlie Weis, Notre Dame...Slight knee problem right now, but the Irish big man never
backs down from anyone...or a meal

C: Mark Mangino, Kansas...Enough said.

RG: Tom Amstutz, Toledo...Good size, thick neck...should be able to keep his ground.

RT: Phil Fulmer, Tennessee...Practically hasn't done anything in ten years, and it's all gone to his gut.

TE: Paul Wulff, Washington State...A lineman by trade, he thinned down and bit, but still can wreck through a line.

WR: Randy Shannon, Miami...Good size for the position...looks to be in very good shape still.

WR: Rick Neuheisel, UCLA...He's cocky enough, still in good shape...and has been in trouble quite a bit. Man, he is a natural wideout. Might have problems staying on team if he plays in another NCAA Tourney pool though...


DE: Ron Prince, Kansas State...Good size, deceptive speed, Prince should be able to get to the QB...before he gets fired.

DT: Ralph Friedgen,

DE: Bret Bielema, Wisconsin...Young, strong, and agile...wait, that's not code for anything.

OLB: Les Miles, LSU...He may look small, but this guy used to play the line.

ILB: Sylvester Croom, MSU..Just look at that screams "I'm going to @#$% you up".

ILB: Dan Hawkins, Colorado...After a tackle you will hear "This aint intramurals brotha".

OLB: Mark Dantonio, Michigan State...The man who never looks happy, can take his frustration out on the QB.

CB: Greg Schiano, Rutgers...Small, fast, upset being stuck in Jersey...nothing more to be said.

SS: Rich Rodriguez, Michigan...He still has the size to hurt some people physically...He already emotionally destroyed an entire state.
FS: Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State...He's a man...he's 40...that's 40 years of experience in reading quarterbacks

CB: Turner Gill, Buffalo...Very athletic, and should know most throws, considering his team allows them all.

K: Mike Leach, Texas Tech...They always say the kicker is the oddball of the group. Well, Leach is a nut case.

P: Joe Paterno, Penn State...He needs to make the team, plus he still does run that field.

(many thanks to mjd from for the help)


Central Maine Sports Blog said...

Chris Petersen should be on there somewhere. Can Wannstedt be the coach?


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