An Ode To Terrell Owens

He started his career in San Fran,
Catching passes from a hall of famer,
because of his catch against Green Bay,
We all thought that he was a gamer,



T.O.’s true colors came out in a Monday Night Game when after scoring a touchdown,
he reached into his sock to retrieve a pen to sign the football, none being the wiser,
Owens gave it to the person that meant most to him,
his friggin’ financial advisor?

After a disappointing season in 2003,
T.O. decided in San Fran he no longer wanted to play,
he promptly burned all his bridges,
even insinuating that the QB is gay,



A deadline was missed and it was thought he would remain a Niner,
Where Owens would end up no one knew,
But after weeks of bickering and a brief stop in Baltimore
It was off to the Eagles that Owens flew,

Owens got off to a great start with Eagles,
He had a rifle arm quarter back named McNabb,
All seemed to be going well Philly,
Until a horse collar grab,



So it was onto the playoffs without their big time receiver,
despite this loss all in Philly knew things would be fine,
and sure enough they were right as the Eagles made it to the Super Bowl,
Even with number 81 on the sideline,


Following a tough loss to the Patriots things started to decline,
Owens wanted a new contract and even took shots at his QB,
Despite hiring a new super agent things would hit rock bottom,
TO wound up doing sit ups in his drive way for all the world to see,



Next for Owens it was on to Dallas, a team on the up and coming,
Things were going well until an odd night at the beginning of the season,
It was thought that Owens attempted to kill himself,
Until Kim Etheridge spoke, Did Owens want to live? Of course, he had 25 million reasons,



After a tough loss to Seattle it was on to 2007 season,
Where the Cowboys great success was meet with loud, supportive cheers,
But alas another tough playoff loss, this time to the New York Giants,
Left Terrell Owens in tears,


So here is Terrell Owens, still a receiver to fear,
He sits second in most touchdown catches for a career,
Yet after their latest loss Owens wants to see more of the ball,
his constant whining is starting wear thin on the patience of all,
It’s been since 2003 since his last playoff win,
Yet ask him who the best receiver is and surely you’ll draw a grin,
So I am sure when I say this I speak for most if not all,
Please Terrell, please, just shut the f*ck up and catch the goddamned ball!!!!







Milwaukee's Best Ice can be found at local laundry mats soaking up free cable, and realizes it's hard to believe he can shurn out poetic masterpieces with just a semester of junior college under his belt.