Thursday, October 30, 2008

Who Would Win in a Fight Thursday...This Week: John Daly vs Beer

Tale of the Tape:
Daly: Age-42 5'11", 280+ lbs. Reach: Winning two majors (oh was a reach)

Beer: Age-Beechwood aged 8", 12 oz Reach: N/A

Fight Analysis: Daly is in the battle of his life, especially against this crisp, cool refreshment. His best strategy would be the 12-step approach. First, admit you have a problem, then kick ass from there. It certainly would not be a quick bout. Daly would have to wear down those feelings of thirst and cold sweats. A knockout just doesn't seem plausible in this battle.

Beer should be the aggressor from round one. After that cap is popped off, it will be an all-out attack of hops and barely. Beer needs to control every round, like it has so many times before. It may be pound-for-pound the greatest fighter ever...though cigarettes might have something to say about that.

Daly needs to stay on the ropes, away from that sweet, smelling aroma of alcohol freshness. Maybe he could last longer if he had a nice little Saturday planned...because we all know, once it hits those lips it's soooo good.

Winner: Beer in an 18-can decision.

Like in so many bouts between these two crafty veterans Beer will triumph. Too much temptation...not enough will power.

So, who do you got...John Daly or beer?

(writer's note...alcoholism is bad umkay? Get some damn help John.)



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