Monday, May 18, 2009

First Annual CMSB All-Fat Team

Shoe asked for it, he got it

Jeff and Matty are not the thinnest individuals on the planet, so we figured it was time to choose the First Annual CMSB All Fat Team. Unless cholesterol is considered a PED.

Left Handed Pitcher David Wells
Honorable mention Sid Fernandez

Wells battled gout and pancakes to have a great career. Name me a thin person who has ever had gout? El Sid never met a buffet he didn't grab tongs for.

Right Handed Pitcher Charlie Kerfeld

Kerfeld always had a red face, like he worked outdoors. The problem? He pitched in the Astrodome.

First Baseman-Cecil Fielder
Honorable Mention-Mo Vaughn

Cecil Fielder had to leave Japan to come back to the states after he ate Godzilla. That's not true, he just got tired of fish and rice.

Mo Vaughn was never svelte. However, Steve Phillips decided to sign him to a huge free agent deal to play first base for the Mets. This of course was after a major knee injury, so he was playing on one leg with more weight on it. Oh, and he could not DH because it was the NL. Brilliant.

Second Baseman-Al Newman

Fat middle infielders are rare, but Al Newman managed to pull it off with a grace and style.

Shortstop-Jhonny Peralta

One baseball blog refers to him only as “Fat Shortstop”.

Third Base-Miguel Cabrera (no long a third baseman because he, get this, got too fat)

Again, a tough place for a big dude, but Miggy the Piggy played third base up until last year.

Left-Fielder-Carlos Lee

I once thought that was all muscle. Yeah, not so much. “El Caballo” should eat an “El Vegetable” once in awhile.

Center Field-Kirby Puckett

Kirby was always as big around as he was tall, but he always came up big when it mattered.

Right Field-Tony Gwynn

Gwynn was never small, but he managed to be the best hitter of his era through it all.

Set-Up Guy-Rich Garces

El Guapo” spent a lot of time eating “El Guacamole”. Became a cult favorite in Boston until the end.

Closer-Duane Ward

Ward was the Blue Jays closer in the early 90's after being the apprentice to Tom Henke. No word on the rumors he was the team's best competitive eater.

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