Hit Like A Girl-Canadian Edition, Eh?

I’m currently in the woods in Nova Scotia, frantically scratching various parts of my body (No, not like that sickos). There are an overwhelming amount of mosquitoes here. My boyfriend endearingly calls my ailment the “Scotia Scratch,” but I think that’s only because he’s not writhing around begging for the tube of After Bite. The locals keep telling me in that cute Canadian accent, “This summer is worse than usual!” Lovely, eh?

Hockey is a year-round sport here. Every morning when I turn on the TV, it’s hockey. Interviews with hockey players, summer leagues, junior leagues, old replays, and the like made me realize how a country could love a sport so much. It has actually been somewhat pleasant, and it almost made me forget about the Red Sox, and the fact that we’re fighting for the wildcard. Oh, and the fact that when I turn my phone back on I’m going to be hit with a barrage of text messages from my father reminding me that the Red Sox lost to the Yankees 4 times in a row.

Maybe Dice-K was right, The Red Sox need to jump on that Japanese training regime.

I feel like I’m watching the Red Sox apocalypse. No one can hit, we have two pitchers, and the hitters that we do have are either getting hurt or suspended. And I’m not going to let Wednesday nights game against the Tigers cheer me up either. The Red Sox are like an abusive spouse. Right when you think things are getting better, BAM, they start up another losing streak and leave you with a black-eye. My high school softball team played better than the Red Sox have been since the All-Star break, keeping in mind I used to field low throws to first with my shins instead of my glove.

But you know what? I’m going to take Youkilis’ storming of the mound as a sign of good times to come. Seriously, all good things start with some kind of storming. It says, “I’m not screwing around anymore.” I’ve also heard that storming is especially effective when a Jewish man is behind it.

I’m not kidding. I see this as a good omen. I don’t care that this little mishap has one of our best players suspended for five games. The Red Sox have been playing like a bunch of little-leaguers who are cranky because it’s naptime. Tito can say that they’re keeping their heads up as much as he wants, but I don’t buy it. When you lose two series in a row to your two rivals, your heads are about as low as they’re going to get. And let’s admit it, Boston fans are not easy to please. Sox players know that fans around the nation are grumbling. Our collective screaming is probably so loud that they can hear it in Fenway Park.

So I say bravo! Go Jewkilis, go. We all needed to see a little passion, and what better way to show it than by throwing your helmet at a pitcher before tackling him to the ground. Boo-yah, baby.

But while I wait for things to look up, I’m going to be watching hockey. Canada has the right idea, eh?

Samantha Lewis is the author of "Hit Like a Girl". She is the Creative Director of Northshore Editorial in Salem, MA and can be followed on Twitter.