Friday, October 09, 2009

Hit Like a Girl-Welcome Back Hockey!

Girls love hockey, I don’t care if you’re the Queen Delicate Flower and are clueless about the game. I had a friend of mine once say, “I didn’t know the goalie got a stick.” Regardless of her cute (but wrong) assumption, she couldn’t take her eyes off the game.

“Are they going to fight?”
“Do they really let them punch each other?”
“Do they stop them!?”
“Are they going to fight now?”

It’s impossible not to watch. It’s hypnotizing; the players flying down the ice, the sound of scraping skates, the shattering of glass as Lucic slams full speed into Mike Van Ryn.

Ok, so that last one doesn’t happen every game. But with Looch signing on for another 3 years with the B’s maybe, just maybe, we’ll see that happen again. Hell, even being guaranteed three more years of pure, Lucic hockey violence is a privilege that makes me squeal.

I don’t need to tell you that I love Looch. In fact, that sounded so good as I typed it, I think I’m going to copyright the phrase and print it on bumper stickers, tee-shirts, and coffee mugs, attracting Milan’s attention and giving me the chance to capture his heart and his gorgeous body…

Apologies. I got carried away.

Hockey has become my favorite sport. It has everything I love about athletes: muscle, speed, finesse, passion and violence, but without all the pomposity. I find hockey players tend to be more humble. That may have something to do with the fact that at least 85% of them are missing teeth or have a nose that has been broken so many times that it is almost unrecognizable, but that’s besides the point! (Milan, I’ll still love you if your teeth get knocked out). You get all the excellence of a full contact sport without the unattractive ego. For the most part.

Think about hockey for just a second. Hockey requires skill. Players skate around a slippery rink while pushing around this 3 inch black disc with a stick. Then, they hit the puck hard enough that it gets past a goalie that takes up the majority of an infant-sized net. And of course, simultaneously, they slam into other players at full speed to see if they can knock them to the hard, unforgiving ice. Or break glass with them. How great is that?!

I know I’m late on this, but welcome back hockey season! Welcome back Jack Edwards and your maniacal laugh! And last but not least, welcome back Looch.

P.S. Will you marry me?

Samantha Lewis is the author of "Hit Like a Girl". She is the Creative Director of Northshore Editorial in Salem, MA and can be followed on Twitter. As of press time Milan Lucic has not yet sent her a restraining order.



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