Wednesday, January 06, 2010
It is upon us, the season where people blast the Baseball Writers Association of America, where others blast the Bill James Baseball Scientology Brigade, others blast fans for being fans, and the rest just yell "rabble, rabble, rabble" because other people are yelling. While many will "put everyone on blast", I am going to single out one group that angers me beyond all belief.
First off, let me say there are many member of BBWAA who don't suck, don't have their head up their own ass, enjoy watching baseball in color, use a computer, don't call it the interweb, use cell phones and drive gas-fueled cars. I have had the privilege of interacting with many of these writers since starting this, among them Jerry Crasnick, Jayson Stark, Tony Massarotti, Buster Olney, Jeff Blair, and others. I won't yell from the rooftop that the BBWAA is full of idiots, because it isn't "full of them", it has a few in the midst, which is the way society works. There are always a few ass-hats in with everyone else. Some of them are obvious, some are conspicuous. I can't rightfully sit here and bash the entire BBWAA. I can, however, bash some of them.
First off if you voted for any of the following...
Robin Ventura 7 votes
Kevin Appier 1 vote
Eric Karros 2 votes
David Segui 1 vote
Ellis Burks 2 votes
Pat Hentgen 1 vote
You should immediately call your doctor and demand an MRI to check for head injuries. If you voted for any of them and did not vote for Blyleven, Raines, Murphy or Alomar throw yourself off a bridge. Unless you lost a bet, did performance-enhancing drugs with Segui and promised you would pay him back for a round of stanazol, there is no excuse. None. Zero. It's like screwing up your name on the SAT's. You are a failure at your job and at life and should just stop. Now, onto the 5 blank-ballot bandits.
What is a blank-ballot bandit, you ask? It's someone who gets a ballot to vote on the Baseball Hall of Fame and turns it in blank. It's like someone going to vote in a local election and turning in a blank piece of paper.
"Hmmm, Obama, McCain, Nader? Screw it this is too much for me."
Two of these Triple B's write for Fanhouse, and have quite the history. One, Lisa Olson, was at the heart of a massive sexual-harrassment problem with Victor Kiam and Zeke Mowatt in the bad Patriots days of the late 80's early 90's. Although the way she was treated back then was awful, she is now effectively waving it in the face of the Baseball Hall of Fame. How? According to Mike Chiappetta(who follows MMA for Fanhouse) via Twitter, Olson has not voted for anyone since she became eligible. I would give my left testicle to get a vote for the BBWAA, and this writer just pisses the opportunity away every year? Lisa, next year just ask me who to vote for, I will give you some names. Hell auction it off on EBay and give proceeds to charity, I don't give a shit, but what you are doing is as bad as voting for the Seguis and Appiers. The other Triple B, also from FanHouse, announced on TV he turned in a blank ballot. He is none other than Jay Mariotti, crown-prince of the ass-hat brigade. Apparently he is too busy to be bothered to vote. It's a prime example of someone who looks at the opportunity to vote for Hall of Famers, make a mark on history, and wipes their ass with it.
It's an embarrassment to the other members of the BBWAA, Major League Baseball, the Hall of Fame, Bob Costas, Pete Rose, and Moonlight Graham to have people who are using these ballots to make a statement, or who are putting themselves above the organization they are a part of. If you can't be bothered to fill out a ballot, tell the BBWAA you don't want to be in it anymore and stop wasting your time, our time, and their time, because you are not an asset to the BBWAA, you are a detriment to it and society as a whole. Roberto Alomar (who is one of the top 10 second basemen of all time) may have spit in the face of an umpire, but when you can't be bothered to fill out a ballot, you spit in the face of everyone who cares about Major League Baseball. You don't deserve the privilege to decide who my kids get to see in Cooperstown, and it's too bad someone believes you do. On a day when the career of Andre Dawson should have been celebrated and all that's right about baseball should have been at the forefront, you made it about yourself, and that is as bad as anyone jamming a needle in their ass, because you just jammed one in the ass of every baseball fan. Hats off Triple B's, you have the baseball world buzzing once again. Until next year...
Update: Apparently Olson has a valid excuse and reasoning behind not voting. This just means Mariotti is an even bigger ass-hat. Hats off to Murray Chass for the long-winded explanation on his blog. Yes, it's a blog.