Monday, January 10, 2011

Why we hate the Jets, Day 1: Fireman Ed

Every day this week, up until Sunday afternoon, we'll be discussing one thing we hate about the New York Jets. Their fans, franchise, more fans, media honks, none of them are safe. Today, however, we start off with the biggest asshole of them all, Fireman Ed.

First off, read this. Pay attention to this line:
"His No. 42 jersey, the one he wears in honor of Bruce Harper, the former player who captured his devotion as his fanaticism was first taking root? It will be home, too."

Now that right there is extremely interesting, because previously, it was revealed that Fireman Ed wears number 42 in honor of his favorite player growing up, Paul Warfield of the Miami Dolphins. I harken back to a comment I sent in to Deadspin in 2009 for a Drew Magary column:

"Fireman Ed? The jack-ass who sits on another man's shoulders and leads the "J-E-T-S" chant that was obviously created after a night of acid trips and watching the Electric Company? His favorite player growing up was Paul Warfield, who just happened to play for the Miami Dolphins. It would be like finding out Jack Nicholson rooted for Bill Russell growing up. This guy is your de facto spirit squad captain, Jets fans? Fucking lame…"

(Yes, I have the e-mail if you need it for proof, plagiarism experts)

The best part is he thinks he is the de facto gate-keeper over who should play for the team. Jason Taylor knows this first hand. Of course, once Taylor actually joined the Jets, everything was calm blue ocean.

I'm sure Mike Tannenbaum calls Ed for his opinion on all personnel decisions.

He also has his own app.

So is it Bruce Harper or Paul Warfield? Dolphins or Jets? Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip? Anytime now, Edwin M. Anzalone. You are no Barrel Man.

Just one reason to hate the Jets. Tomorrow? Mark Sanchez.



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