Saturday, August 13, 2005

The Cassel/Cassell Edition

Matt Cassel. Who the hell is Matt Cassel? Only the New England Patriots, who struck 7th round gold in 2000 by drafting a QB that platooned with Drew Henson in Michigan by the name of Tom Brady would draft the guy who backed up 2 consecutive Heisman Trophy winners at USC. Talk about the anti Wally Pipp. Yet there he was tonight, running around like a 5 year old at Funtown, gasping for air, sending Rohan Davey to the unemployment line and giving the Pats 2 and 3rd teams a spark they haven't seen in quite awhile. Of course, Monte Beissel, who was signed from Kansas City (The Greatest Defense I have ever seen. Wait, Just kidding) is now penciled in to replace Ted Johnson and looked pretty good. I know its week one of the preseason, but how do they keep doing this? Are Pioli and Belichick just that much smarter than everyone else? Do you think if we got Billy Beane in a room with the two of them they could figure out a way to stop the war in Iraq and get Al-Qaida to hold hands and sing Kuhm-Ba-Ya? I keep wanting to be shocked, but I can't be anymore. I almost expect them to always find someone to replace whoever they lost from the last year, and I expect them to easily win the AFC East and get homefield for at least one game (which means goodbye Indy!) and win the Super Bowl. This is getting borderline ridiculous. I think all of us expect Doug Flutie to win us one game this year for one reason or another. I think we all know Ty Law (although I wish him the best) will fade away in New York while Duane Starks goes to the Pro Bowl. As long as we don't act like Cowboy fans from the early and mid 90's, I think we will be alright.

I love what the T'Wolves did by sending Sam "Thank you Mr. Horry and Mr. Olajuwon for making me a TON of money" Cassell to basketball Siberia with the Clippers. If the Clips don't trade him to a contender, there should be plenty of drama in the Clip Joint, and it might even over shadow the Kobe Show. Do you think the Philly Eagles have looked for ways to send TO to the Bears for Justin Gage and a 6th rounder, which would be the NFL equivalent? That might keep him and Drew off our tv screens.

Onto the gambling portion of this. I had a bad night, betting against New England and going against Johan Santana in MLB, but tomorrow is a new day. Baltimore + 3 and Buffalo -3 (betting solely on Japan hangovers there. I still remember the Yanks and D'Rays last year). Tease any dog with plus 3 and make over for anything 36 points or less and under for 36 and 1/2 points or more. (which would make it a minimum of +9 and over 30 or under 42 1/2) and you should make some cash.

BTW, can someone please get CNNSI back? At least they had people on there doing SPORTS! I don't care about what goes on in all 50 states. I really don't. Show me Royals/Indians highlights. Fox Sports Net and ESPN are killing me right now. Why is Baseball Tonight a 20 minute featurette at 12 am now? Do we really need an Outside the Lines every night? Bob Ley must be thrilled to be working on Friday night. (I think somewhere there is a picture of Chris Berman stuck to a dartboard in the Ley house. Listen closely and you'll hear the Gin Blossoms "Hey Jealousy" between sobs) that's all for tonight kids. Make sure you don't leave anything in the bottle...



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