Tuesday, July 29, 2008

In Bum Phillips I Trust

With the NFL season just weeks away, it’s time for the annual adoption pick. If you are unaware of what I am talking about, well it’s simple. Each year, along with cheering for my beloved Patriots, I adopt a second squad to support. Now…you may ask yourself why. Isn’t cheering for one team enough? Isn’t it going against the cheering code if you have a second team? Do you have a mental disorder? The answer is no to all of these questions (at least as far as I know I don’t have a mental disorder.) Let me break it down for you.

Being a Patriots fan in the regular season is like cheering for anyone who picks a fight with France; you already know the outcome. And with the easiest schedule this season, there is no doubt the Pats are in the playoffs. I’ll watch them every week, and cheer out loud, but everyone knows it’s a mortal lock for New England to move on. Where is the drama? As for the cheering code, just stay away from a rival. And I did graduate with a 3.0+ GPA in Broadcast Journalism from a University, so I believe I’m still sane…at least I think so.

So the next question should be how the selection is made. It all starts with a series of conditions which may qualify the certain team you are looking to adopt.

Condition 1: It cannot be a rival or in the same division as your favorite team.

Condition 2: They must play at least two games against rivals of your team.

Condition 3: You must have a rooting interest in at least three players on the team.

Condition 4: They must pose no threat to your favorite team, at least at the beginning of the season.

Condition 5: You must be able to name the team’s head coach, starting quarterback, and stadium.

If you and the adoptive team pass these five requirements, then congratulations, you have officially adopted an NFL team.

It just so happens that I have found that team. It’s a team that hasn’t had a lot of success in its young existence…a team that has tremendous upside…a team that has really hot cheerleaders. I have officially adopted the Houston Texans.

Before you ask, the head coach is Gary Kubiak, Matt Schaub is their starter (for now), and they play in Reliant Stadium…Condition 5…check.

They play in the AFC South, and by no means are they a rival…Condition 1…check.

They play the Steelers, Fins, and Colts twice…Condition 2…check.

They have an outside shot of reaching the playoffs. By no means are they a threat to the Pats….Condition 4…check.

The three players I’ll be following are running backs Steve Slaton and Darius Walker, and quarterback Matt Schaub. Slaton is an obvious selection, having gone to the ole alma mater West Virginia. A product of Notre Dame, Walker gets also gets the nod. Yeah I like Notre Dame Football, what of it? Schaub is thrown some love as well, since I continue to claim he is the next best thing…Condition 3…check.

Somebody wake Bum Phillips up from his old-age-induced coma, and raise a shot of Old Crow, because the Texans make the cut, and have been officially adopted as my second team this year. And not a bad team to select, considering they improved their offensive line, have a solid detail at the skill positions, and a young, fast defense. Their biggest issue will be the division they play in. The Colts are the perennial favorites, and the Jags are not far behind. Both the Texans and Titans are long shots in the AFC South, but don’t be surprised if two from the division reach the playoffs.

Chris Sedenka is the host of the PM JAB, which can be heard weekdays between 3-7pm on 95.5FM and AM1440 Sportsradio WJAB in Central and Southern, Maine.


Anonymous said...

DANKS!! You da man!!! I followed the Texans last year. They had a solid foundation and with the addition of Rosie Colvin, how can I not root for them. My second is the Saints. I don't know why, maybe the cool unis, maybe because they are always underdogs or hell maybe it's just because it is New Orleans! Anyway Welcome to the Family!

Anonymous said...

3.0......."+", check out the big brain on Brett.


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