Friday, September 12, 2008

The 5 Stages of Grief for a Pats' Fan


"Tom's fine, he may have sprained his knee or something minor like that. I think Belichick is just jerkin the league around and hopes that he can remove the target off of New way is Tom Brady out for the year, uh-uh, no way.

Maybe a lesser man-ning couldn't have their knee hyper-extended like this and bounce back to find #84 23 times this season.....but we all know that Tom Brady was born on the planet Krypton and is invincible."


"I should have been there, I should have been there to block Pollard..........I would have thrown all 5 and a half feet and 146 pounds of me into him. I may have died in the process and left nothing but a stack of bills for my wife and three kids to pay, but at least Tom would be okay. At least my kids would have Tom Brady to watch every weekend until the cable was shut off and child services took them. Oh god, no more number 12 out there behind center, no more sweet long balls to Moss, no more sticking it to the Bills and the Jets."


"Goddamned Pollard.....and what the hell is Morris take the penalty and keep your QB healthy.......and why did we have to go get Randy Moss, huh? If he couldn't stretch the field and our offense was dink and dunk, Tom never would have held the ball so long and Pollard could never have stuck his helmet right through Tom's knee and the collective hearts of Pats' fans everywhere. Why? Why did this have to happen? Maybe if we still had Reche Caldwell things would be okay. Sure we would get freaked out everytime there was a close up of him, but seeing this...............

Is a helluva lot easier than seeing this..........

Okay God.....I know I just got a little irrational back there, but if you could please make Tom Brady able to play all season, I will stop dr--I mean my brother will stop drinking and unwrapping those magazines at the local Rite Aid and read them while standing in line only to tell the cashier that you aren't buying because someone unwrapped it.........huh, whaddua say? Do we have a deal?"


"Oh god, he's really gone and he is not coming back.....nothing I can do can make him come back. What will I do without seeing Tom on our annual Fall, Sunday dates? Who is going to remind me that with all the evil-doers out there like the Mannings and LT that there is still some good to believe in? I know I've got school and my career, but what does that matter without Tom? I don't care about the rest of the team.....don't give me that sh*t, we don't have Tom......and Tom is more valuable than 100 USC QBs. What good is Randy Moss without Tom huh? Wes Welker isn't going to be the man in the middle without Tom. You can't convince me that the team will be fine.....we might as well be Jets fans, they don't have a decent starting quarterback either."


"You know, Matt Cassel isn't Tom Brady.....then again who is........but we've got talent around him and the defense is solid. Now maybe if Ellis Hobbit learns to cover someone the secondary won't be that much of a concern. And hey, we've got about 1,000 running backs on the roster......not to mention the greatest coach in the history of the NFL. Now I am not saying Super Bowl, but there is still a chance for the AFC East and maybe a run to the Conference Championship....then who knows. Man, I am going to go buy supplies for the Sox said 4 years ago when things were looking bleak:




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