Friday, May 14, 2010

Dearest Bruins: Please win.

I’m just going to throw this out there now: if the Bruins lose tonight, I’m going to be devastated.

It’s not practical, it makes no sense. The Bruins are missing one of their top centers. Their other top center is still a little tweaked. Our defense is… well, you know what it is. Seidenberg is still out for his suicide attempt (kidding! Sliced wrist. Same thing.). Chara can’t be expected to carry the whole defense. Oh, and the offense… take care of that too oh Captain, my Captain! Blake Wheeler has been moved to the first line (WHAT?!) because he is actually better than someone on the team (Paille) despite the fact that he avoids the puck like he would avoid someone with herpes. Dennis Wideman, Michael Ryder, and Matt Hunwick are non-factors.

Despite all of this, I will still be upset. Upset isn’t even the right word. I will be crushed. All the odds are against them, but I would still be crushed. But why, you ask? Because I actually think they can win. See, if I thought they were going to lose tonight, I would be fine. But some displaced logic is making me believe that they can pull this off. That the magical team we saw against Buffalo and in the first three games against the Flyers is going to valiantly skate onto the ice tonight and say, “Just kidding, guys.”

This is what I need. Literally. Need.

  1. The Slovakian Dance of Joy.
  2. Patrice Bergeron goal. Top shelf.
  3. Shawn Thornton’s fist, meet Mike Richards’ face.
  4. Dennis Wideman to remain upright.
  5. Mark Recchi goal.
  6. No scoring chances for Simon Gange or Danny Briere.
  7. Chara Bomb.
  8. Dennis Seidenberg. Seriously. Just bring him back. I’m sure he’s fine.
  9. A robot arm for Krejci.
  10. Marc Savard game winning goal. Start the series with one, end the series with one.

If I am not provided with this, or at least some of this, it’s likely I’ll be joining the rest of the Bruins fans at the city’s newest hot spot: the Tobin Bridge.

Samantha Lewis is a conference production assistant by day and a sports blogger by night. As someone who moved to Boston just 6 years ago, she doesn't know how life-long Bruin fans have survived this team. You can read more from her at Beantown Athletic Supporters and follow her on Twitter here.



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