Lebron James could be a Part-Time Actor

Friday is the best day of the week. It’s even better this week because it’s going to be warm this weekend. It’s going to be warm and I have nothing to do. Excuse me a moment while I daydream about that…

Alright, I know you’re here to read about sports. This week I’m going to stray from my usual hockey and baseball topics and talk about basketball, everyone’s favorite shoe squeaking sport. You’ll be glad to know I’ve added “unnecessary drama” to my list of reasons for hating the NBA.

In honor of Lebron James and his Academy Award winning performance, I’m going to type this piece with one hand. My left hand. I seem to be getting carpal tunnel in my right, and in these essential moments of writing this bit before Matty asks if I’ve disappeared from the planet, I’m just going to mess around a bit. Why? Well don’t I seem so much cooler? Fighting through dreaded carpal tunnel just to write this piece for all my adoring fans?! Life is rough.

Yeah, I’m rolling my eyes too.

If you haven’t seen the infamous shot, you can check it out on YouTube here. If you were his coach, wouldn’t you want to wring his neck? If I were his coach I would go out there, break both of his knees, and yell, “NOW YOU KNOW WHAT PAIN FEELS LIKE.” A bruised elbow? A bruised elbow. You have got to be friggin kidding me. Basketball is the worst. You’ve got sports like hockey and football where the players are getting smashed every minute of the game. Do you think they’d stop for a bruised elbow? Hell no. They laugh at bruised elbows. They say, “elbow, you silly bitch, get back in the game.” Even baseball players can get nailed with a ball and still run the bases. You want a bruised bone? Get hit in the elbow with a 98 mph fast ball. Can you imagine that happening to Lebron James? He would writhe in agony and scream for his momma.

Don’t even get me started on the rest of the league. We all know nothing can compete with Paul Peirce being taken off the court in a wheelchair only to return minutes later. What?! Have you seen the photo of his face? He looks like he’s going to pass out from the waves of pain shooting through his body. “Nah, just kiddin’ guys. I’m coo, I’m coo.”

I have a prediction for the Cavs – Celts series. No, it’s not a prediction of how many games will be played and it’s not a prediction of who will win. My prediction is that instead of playing basketball, Paul Pierce and Lebron James will have a diva-off. Yes. Who will get the refs to call the most penalties after they cry and jump around like a 5 year old girl? Who will fall down the most after barely being touched? Will they both leave in wheelchairs? Personally, I think Lebron will arrange to be air lifted from the stadium and to the nearest hospital, only to return 15 minutes later after he has jogged back to the court under his own power. Man, nothing can hold that guy down for long!

I will not be watching the NBA playoffs. For those of you who can stand it, I salute you. The amount of acting in basketball is vomit inducing. As for players like Lebron James and Paul Pierce? Grow a pair.

Samantha Lewis is a conference production assistant by day and a sports blogger by night. She can say with confidence that her 5 year-old neice is tougher than an NBA player. You can read more from Samantha at Beantown Athletic Supporters and follow her on Twitter here.

Afternoon Delights

Oh yes. Your ears will freaking bleed for hours.

Sometimes Matty gets ideas that should not be brought to fruition. This is not one of them.

A new feature called “Afternoon Delights” makes it's debut today. Basically it's a chance for Matty to rant and rave about things he reads, watches or hears during the day. Sports, pop culture, and sports media all get their chance to shine.

Today's edition is sponsored by Chip and Dip. “Chips and Dip, when you can't decide between a heart attack and being morbidly obese”.

Today's hot button topic is Lebron James and his disappearing act on Saturday night. Although many people are focusing on Lebron leaving the court without shaking hands, my issue is with Lebron not speaking to anyone in the media after the game. I mean, as much as I dislike Kobe Bryant, Kobe faced the media of last year's Game 6 loss to Boston. In hindsight, Game 6 of the Finals was way worse than Lebron losing to the Magic. Also I have covered locker rooms after games, and for the face of the franchise, the face of the league, and the face of USA Basketball to put his headphones on while he dressed and leave Mo Williams to fend for himself was classless, immature, and more importantly unprofessional. Is it tough to face the media after that? Yes. Do you have to do it? Yes. No excuses. None. Yet it seems the focus is on sportsmanship. These are professional athletes, and we need to remember the word “professional” a lot more than we do, as fans and people who cover it. Take him to task people, stop kissing his ass. It doesn't mean you don't like him or are piling on, it means you are doing your damn job. To the media: Stop worrying about how this affects you being able to book guests, because if you are worried about that I don't need to hear your interviews anyways.

Every time I watch the Red Wings, I feel like I am rooting for the U.S.S.R. Those damn red uniforms. I know the Red Wings are a good franchise, and Detroit needs something to cheer about, but can we get another team in there please?

If you sleep wrong and wake up with a piercing pain between your neck and shoulders, remember that typing will make it hurt more. I just realized that as I got half way through.

Brett Myers (and his eyebrows) are having surgery, and many are now speculating the Phillies will try to make a run at Jake Peavy. Honestly, I think they should use Antonio Bastardo and Carlos Carrasco and try to get by. Gutting your farm system on a team that is getting older and will have new needs in a couple of years is not a good idea. Bastardo (greatest name ever) and Carrasco are both young, talented, and could make the jump. I mean hell Kyle Kendrick once made a similar jump, and it took the league a year to catch onto him. These guys actually have talent! Hamels, Blanton, Moyer, Happ, Bastardo, and Carrasco? Pretty decent, IMO. The team that needs Peavy is Milwaukee. They still have a chance to contend, and they need an ace who isn't going to leave after this year. He is somewhat affordable, locked up for awhile, and a staff can be built around him. The Brewers need to remember the excitement created by CC last year. That town was electric for baseball. Harvey's Wallbangers were jealous of the attention. Now 2 plus seasons for Peavy? Could be huge for everyone.

I actually feel dumber after listening to Reggie Miller speak on radio shows.

Great Facebook group you need to join. Now. And send suggestions to your friends.

To channel my inner Larry King, “That Erin Calipari is a spitfire”.

This is usually the time of year that horseracing muckles onto me and my wallet, and sometimes my TV may find it's way to channel 602 TVG. Why can I bet on horses down the street, yet not be able to make 4 team parlays from my house? Or buy lottery tickets that have a much higher chance of losing, which are sponsored by the government that poo-poos sports gambling?

To you and yours, enjoy your Monday.