MSM Exclusive: Audio From Patriots Front Office Reacting to Tebow Trade

MSM microphones were able to pick up this reaction from the front office of the New England Patriots upon learning the New York Jets had traded a fourth round pick for Tim Tebow on Wednesday, just two weeks after signing Mark Sanchez to an extension. (Warning: you may want to turn your speakers up so everyone around you can hear)

DISCLAIMER: this is not the actual Patriots front office. This is a joke.

Monday Maledictions-58 seconds Kills the Jets; A Super Bowl Subplot Not Named Archie

The bell tolled. The grim reaper extended his finger. A foot came out and kicked the bucket as hard as it could. No, I'm not talking about the career of Brett Favre, I am talking about defense. NFL Defense. The Jets were the last hope for old school defense to continue as a way to build teams, and they were carved up by a quarterback with more weapons than Emperor Palpatine. It looked good in the first half for about 28 minutes, but when Manning fired on all cylinders in the end of the first half, using Austin Collie to get into the endzone in under a minute, it caused an emotional wreckage from which the Jets were never able to rescue themselves from. Had the Jets held them to another field goal on that drive, they go into the half with a much different mindset, but instead the aura of invincibility that Rex Ryan had instilled in this team the past few weeks was wiped away in 58 seconds. It's a quarterback driven league now. The injury to Shonn Greene may have killed their offense, but the drive at the end of the first half killed the Jets spirit. Even the often cocky Ryan agreed.

"When they got that touchdown against us right before the half, that really took some of the wind out of our sails," Ryan said in his postgame press conference. "We had a couple of communication problems there, then they just out-executed us. That's a tough team. There are a lot of match-up issues that any team's going to have against them."

The team that's going to have those issues is the New Orleans Saints, who managed to beat a Vikings team that turned the ball over 5 times. The Saints didn't look like the offensive juggernaut that rolled through most of the regular season, but they were efficient and got the win. The unsung hero in this one, despite the 31 points his defense allowed, is Vikings Defensive Coordinator Leslie Frazier. The guy should be a head coach in this league. Soon. If his offense doesn't hand the ball back to New Orleans 5 times, they win the game, handily. Lord Favre, however, decided to throw across his body in the waning seconds, and his Vikings season ended the same way his Packers and Jets careers ended, with crucial late interceptions that cost his team a chance at a win. Leslie Frazier shouldn't be watching Chan Gailey coach Buffalo, yet he'll be back next season as the Vikings defensive coordinator (in all likelihood). Life isn't fair sometimes, and this one is a prime example.

An interesting subplot of Saints/Colts (minus the Archie Manning storyline that is going to be shoved down your throat like cough medicine the next 2 weeks)...

Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams has a long history against Peyton Manning, giving Manning all sorts of trouble against when he was defensive coordinator of the Houston Oilers/Tennessee Titans, most notably in the 1999 playoffs, when his defense held Manning to 19-42 w/ 227 yards passing (and a rushing TD) in a 19-16 Titans win. In 2001, as Williams took over as head coach in Buffalo, Manning torched the Bills for 421 yards and 4 touchdowns in a 42-26 win. In the rematch later that season (Indy was in the AFC East then), Manning went 17-27 w/ 199 yards and a passing touchdown, and also had a 33 yard touchdown run in a 30-14 win. In his final season in Buffalo, a Williams-led defense held Manning to 26-42 and 229 yards, but still lost 17-14. A 2006 match-up with the Redskins and a Williams defense went decidedly to Manning, as he went 25-35 with 342 yards and 4 touchdowns in a 36-22 win. In 2008 Williams was the DC of the Jags, and Manning went 15-29 and 216 yards, a TD and 2 picks in a 23-21 loss to Jacksonville, but Manning prevailed again later that season in a 31-24 win over the Jags, with a 29-34, 364 yds, 3 touchdown showing. Manning has a total of 3 rushing touchdowns against Willams-led defenses in his career, so keep that in mind when looking at Super Bowl prop bets. Needless to say, these two know each other.

By the way, I have a huge life decision coming up in regards to a baby name. Should I just use NFL Overtime Rules to decide it and flip a coin?

Matt Boutwell is the Publisher for CMSB Media, the Sports Editor for Independent Publishing, and co-host/producer for the "Weekend Warm-Up" on 96.3 The Big Jab.

Help Us Obi-Rex, You're Our Only Hope

Let me be the first to say I am not a Jets fan. I will not be wearing a Fireman Ed helmet next season and leading chants of J-E-T-S next year. I am however, a fan of football. You know, that game that used to be played in the NFL before guys like Bill Polian used their status on the competition committee to change the rules in the NFL to resemble the CFL minus getting points for a punt (If the Colts lose by a point this week, look for that rule change to be enacted for next season). I try not to be dramatic, but this game on Sunday between the Colts and Jets is not just for an AFC Title and a trip to the Super Bowl, it's the last stand for defense in the NFL.

In the late 80's and throughout the 90's, a strong defense was a must to win a Super Bowl. The New York Giants, the Chicago Bears, the Washington Redskins, the Dallas Cowboys, and even the San Francisco 49ers all had great defenses. Lawrence Taylor, Darrell Green, Charles Haley, Mike Singletary, Charles Mann, Ronnie Lott are all names on championship defenses. Going back to the 1985 Bears, look at the points per game allowed by these Super Bowl teams and defenses...

1985 Bears - 12.4 ppg
1986 Giants - 14.8 ppg
1987 Redskins - 19.0 ppg
1988 49ers - 18.4 ppg
1989 49ers - 15.8 ppg
1990 49ers - 14.9 ppg
1991 Redskins - 14.0 ppg
1992 Cowboys - 15.2 ppg
1993 Cowboys - 14.3 ppg
1994 49ers - 18.5 ppg
1995 Cowboys - 18.2 ppg
1996 Packers - 13.1 ppg
1997 Broncos - 17.9 ppg
1998 Broncos - 19.3 ppg
1999 Rams - 15.1 ppg
2000 Ravens - 10.3 ppg
2001 Patriots - 17.0 ppg
2002 Bucs - 12.2 ppg
2003 Patriots - 14.9 ppg
2004 Patriots - 16.2 ppg
2005 Steelers - 16.1 ppg
2006 Colts - 22.5 ppg
2007 Giants - 21.9 ppg
2008 Steelers - 13.9 ppg (14.9 including playoffs)

Notice the spike in 2006 and 2007? The 2006 Colts allowed over 3 touchdowns per game. (BTW the 2009 Jets have allowed 14.7 ppg so far this year, including playoffs). The 2008 Steelers benefitted from playing in an offensively challenged division, and allowed 24 and 23 points to the Chargers and Cardinals in the playoffs, the two best offenses they faced all year. Here's my issue- If the Colts win the Super Bowl, how many other teams will copycat it, and go with a Tampa-2 type defense and no running game? I love scoring as much as the next guy, but was the Cardinals/Packers wildcard game this year really that good? It was close, yes, had an exciting finish, but the only defense in that game was played in overtime. It was the closest thing to an Arena league game the NFL playoffs has ever had.

Now I'm not saying I want 6-3 ballgames, but I don't want 40 point free-for-alls each week, either. If the New York Jets win the Super Bowl, maybe the Patriots can go back to building a defense instead of that atrocity they put on the field the past 3 seasons. Maybe some innovation can come back to the defensive side of the ball for many of the teams in this league. This league is sick with offense, and it needs healing. Perhaps a Jets Super Bowl win could be the doctor this league needs. If you want the CFL and the run and shoot, you're watching the wrong league. Yes, great offenses are fun to watch, but without a good defense you don't win. I think this league is leaning to far to the other side of too much offense, and the only way to stop that is for the Jets to win the Super Bowl.

So I guess what I am trying to say is, "Go Jets". If you'll excuse me, I am going to go shower with some lava soap and brillo pad. May the force of defense be with you, always.

Get Off the Shed! Matty's Rantings and Ravings

This is going to be a fun week at the CMSB, as we bathe in the afterglow of a job well done with the Maine State Football Championships last Saturday (more on that later today). Today we are going to start something I want to start doing every Monday from here on out, bitching about things that irritated me over the weekend. I warn you now, I am generally a cranky person, so be forewarned.

1.UNH comes back to beat UMaine, again.
Once again, the Wildcats came back to beat the Black Bears, this time 27-24, and once again, they maintain control of the Brice-Cowell musket. If you look at the stats, there is no way in hell UNH should have won this game, and that has become a recurring theme with the Black Bears this season. I know they changed their offensive scheme half-way through the season, but they lost many a winnable game this season (UNH, Albany, Delaware stick out to me) and blew a lead in seemingly every game. I hope this was a building year, and the fruits of the labor for this young team show up next year, but it was sad to see a guy like Mike Brusko, who has done so much for this team, end his football career in Durham. (By the way, Mike has an open invite to write for the CMSB whenever he wants, and an open invite for the Weekend Warm-up)

2.Jovan Belcher makes a huge play in Pittsburgh/KC game, nobody gets to see the highlight
I love NFL Network. Love it. I specifically pay Directv for my television service for the right to watch it, and it is the number 1 of 5 reasons I have Directv over local cable (by the way Giants fans here in Maine, enjoy not seeing your team on Thanksgiving night. No, you may not come over to my house and watch it. Unless you bring a keg). With all that said, UMaine alum Jovan Belcher, an undrafted free agent who is now playing key minutes for the Kansas City Chiefs, made a HUGE defensive play on Rashard Mendenhall in overtime, forcing a Pittsburgh punt. The Chiefs subsequently drove down the field and won the game. Now, would you like to guess how many times I saw the Belcher play in highlights on ANY show? One. Guess who showed it? NFL Network. Know how much of Maine gets NFL Network? Not a hell of a lot. (Belcher is from West Babylon, NY and I know TW is a big deal out there, too). We are going on 5 years of this pissing match between TWC and the NFL. Enough is a enough. If Comcast and the NFL can reach a deal, there is no excuse for TW and the NFLN not to have the hatchet buried. NFL fans are losing out big time here, and now that the NFL Network has all of its studio shows in HD and it has the most comprehensive postgame show, people are getting shafted. (In fairness, ESPN does a great job with their Monday night postgame, but since Primetime went off the air, their Sunday night postgame is lacking badly). Get with the ballgame, TWC.

3.Ken Rosenthal and his Mike Lowell rumor from Sunday night..
This is biggest crock of obvious I have ever seen. I despise Rosenthal anyways, as his weekly segments with Dale and Holley are usually an adventure in cell phone coverage and background noise (you know you are going to be on the air, how about you block off 20 minutes so that you can be in a quiet area with some cell coverage, or use a land-line, Captain Unprofessional). Gee, the Red Sox would like to unload Mike Lowell? No friggen way!!! They'd even pay half of his contract? You mean teams aren't lining up to pay Lowell full price when he can barely move? SHOCKING!!! Here's a rumor I will break right now, "Red Sox would deal David Ortiz if some team pays his entire contract". Can I get a headline on MLB Trade Rumors, too? Jesus Jumped up Christ.

4.To the New York Jets and (Most of)Their Fans (Not Named Javier Gorriti)...
Pray to everyone that Mark Sanchez has a career as good as Ken O'Brien, because at this point, that would be as much as you can expect. Maybe this week Rex Ryan can cry in pne of his phone calls to pump up fans. Jack-asses. There was nothing more satisfying to watch your pitiful band of crap leave Foxboro with their tail tucked between their legs. Enjoy your top 15 pick this offseason, perhaps you can get someone as impactful as Vernon Gholston again.

5.Dear Celtics, Stop Sucking
Many of you know I don't like the job Doc Rivers has done over the years, and I am convinced they won the 2008 title in spite of him, not because of him. Friday night, he was once again out-coached by Stan Van Gundy, which is the coaching equivalent to losing a poker game to Art Schlichter. This team has way, way too much talent to be losing games at home. No way a game against the Knicks should come down to the buzzer. Maybe it's early, maybe they are doing the San Antonio Spurs-type sleepwalk through the regular season, but something is not clicking right now. Ubuntu my ass, how about coaching some offense and stop pissing off the refs so that this team can actually get a key call at some point.

In The Crease-J-E-T-S Jets, Je...Oh To Hell With It

I love NFL football Sunday. I don't like it, or think it's kinda cool: I love it. There is nothing better than the 17 Sundays a year I get to sit in front of the TV all day and night. It's my reason for being.

16-13 Bills over the Jets. 5 INT's by Mark "Sanchize" and 6 by the team.

59-0 Pats over the Titans. 5 TD's by Tom "Franchise" Brady in the 2nd quarter and 6 in the game.

There goes one of my 17 most precious days. There are only 11 left now and I fear they will get worse

The Jets play calling was horrible on the offensive side of the board. Clearly our rookie QB was struggling with the cold, wind and inexperience. Thomas Jones was running wild for 200+ yards, Leon for another 100 and Buffalo had no answers. Inexplicably, we keep throwing the ball in the 4th quarter and OT. Predictably we keep throwing INT's. Aren't the Jets a run/play D first, everything else second team? Didn't we learn from New Orleans? Clearly not.

It's over. Give the Pats the division now. That way, I won't have to suffer the inevitable ray of hope the Jets love to cast down on their fans every year. This year, like last year, the ray came early and it was blinding, almost beautiful; a new coach, new players in the secondary and a shiny new QB. As much as I wanted to believe, there was something in the back of my mind telling me to wait, not to get too excited.

59-0 Uh oh. Here come Brady and Belichick with their flawless execution and their perfect game plan. I know it was against the worst team in the NFL, with all due respect to Cleveland and Oakland, and I know that one week is only one week. The problem here is that the Patriots can play perfectly on both sides of the ball and will continue to play closer to that level than the level they had been playing at, which was above average, and the Jets simply can't. There was hope that the Patriots would be a lesser team and Brady a lesser QB than in the past. 59-0 kills any of those Jet pipe dreams.

The only question left is; can the Jets be decent enough to make the playoffs as a wildcard. The answer is yes, it's possible. Is it probable? With as many good teams to beat out to get there as there are, along with the Pats, Miami, Indy, Baltimore, Cincinnati, San Diego, Houston, Pittsburgh and Denver all looking like division champ or wildcard candidates as well, it is decisively not probable. There will be a two to three week stretch where the Jets could make it if 13 things go there way, I can guarantee you that much, but I can also guarantee they do not make it.

I can already see next season's ray of hope. It's already blindingly beautiful. Rex in his second season in NY: they will be saying after a year in the Big Apple, he has a better handle on the media and his team and how to motivate them. Sanchez will be in his second year, so he will be poised to break out. Braylon Edwards will be in his second year in this offense etc. Then, by week 6 or so, the Pats will look like the Pats and the Jets will look like the Jets.

Being a Jets fan, no amount of pain, almosts or wasted seasons will lessen my love for NFL football Sunday. I love it, like Brady loves posing in front of a camera in a skin tight tank top (not that there is anything wrong with that).(Editor's note:Or like how Mark Sanchez likes posing in GQ before he actually takes an NFL snap). It would be even better if my Jets could finally do it, or at least if Broadway Joe could try and make out with Suzy Kolber again, but nothing can kill my love for Sunday (except a lock-out). So as Gang Green gets ready for Oakland, I brace myself for the season killer. A loss to the Raiders. Seems about a year ago when it started to go terribly wrong with a road loss to the Raiders. Symmetry and consistency, just like the Pats....sort of.

Javier Gorriti, UMaine Black Bear from 1994-1998, is a frequent contributor to the CMSB and the co-host of the PM JAB with Chris Sedenka. He is the president of Mermaid Seafoods in Portland ME. and has been working and living in Maine over the past 5 years. He can be reached at javier_gorriti at hotmail.com. He once turned down the chance to be the Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man in the World", simply because he didn't want to grow a beard.

TALKING PATRIOTS AND JETS

LISTEN TO MATTY AND JEFF TALK TO ESPN’S HERM EDWARDS AND CBS PLAY BY PLAY MAN GREG GUMBEL ABOUT THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS AND NEW YORK JETS GAME THIS WEEK
HERM EDWARDSGREG GUMBLE

In The Crease With Javier Gorriti-Power and Pain

As an avid Mets, Jets and Bruins fan, I have had more than my share of painful loses, embarrassing gaffs and infuriating moments. The Jets have won nothing in my lifetime and the same can be said for the Bruins. The Mets, of all teams, have given me one, count em' one, stinking championship. This, of course, is dwarfed by what is the circus posing as a baseball team in Flushing which almost obliviates said championship. Certainly Clemens beaning Piazza in the head, then Sean Estes missing Clemens entirely during interleague at Shea definitely does. On the bright side, the 1986 Mets are the coolest baseball team of all time, and that I can live with.

I take great pride and hope in the futility of my favorite teams. How can one man be subjected to the kind torture and embarrassment that these teams have bestowed on me and still be optimistic and happy to love these teams? Simple. Pain makes you a real fan. It's very easy to go buy your girlfriend's pink Sawx hat as you stroll down Lansdowne street in your Pedroia jersey as you incessently yell "Yooouuuuuukkk". There is no honor in that. It's just too easy. Ask your dad about what it means to be a Sawx fan, a real Sawx fan. 86 years of pain, that's what it means. All those crusty old bastards in northern New England have been in a bad mood since 1918 and by god no couple of rings is going to take that away from them.

The Patriots are the best organization in football. Tom Brady is the poster child for squeaky clean looks, manners and a winner (we will just ignore the other kid in LA and his single mother, that doesn't fit in with the image.). Bill Belichick is a genius.

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

The New York Jets have a history that includes Rich Kotite, Pete Carrol, Lou Holtz and Herm Edwards. These are quite possibly 4 of the worst coaching tenures of all time in the NFL. We've passed on Dan Marino (drafted Ken O'Brien), Warren Sapp (drafted Kyle Brady), they've drafted guys like Johnny Lamb Jones, Roger Vick (a FB!!!!) in the first round, just to name a few. The Jets have not won a playoff game since 2005 and a Superbowl since 1969.

This is why the Pats have no chance. I have stored up so much bad luck, pain and agony, there is no way the Pats can possibly overcome the credit I have amassed as a sports fan. This year's Jets are motivated by a coach that no doubt would love to fight Belichick in a bare knuckle brawl. His players will follow suit. It's not even about X's and O's, it's about being a real fan and being rewarded with the ultimate high, winning when you're not supposed to. Sunday will be one of those days, those moments, when putting up with all the crap, all the jokes and humiliations will be worth it.

Of course the Pats could win 35-3. That's OK, it will just add to my fandom street cred. And in this I take the most comfort, because they can't beat me.

Javier Gorriti, UMaine Black Bear from 1994-1998, is a frequent contributor to the CMSB and the PM JAB with Chris Sedenka. He is the president of Mermaid Seafoods in Portland ME. and has been working and living in Maine over the past 5 years. He can be reached at javier_gorriti at hotmail.com

Rex Ryan Wants Jets' Fans to Get Loud

Rex Ryan left New York Jets' Season-Ticket Holders this voicemail..

I honestly don't even know where to start. The Jets have the largest media market in the country, and their head coach has to resort to "Aw shucks help us out" voice-mails? Really?

"We really need you this week."

How many fans will storm the field drunk this week saying "But Coach Ryan said he needed me?" I put the over/under at 6.5.

"I've already said they have the better coach and better quarterback, but this week we'll find out who has the better team."

Oh, look at that, Ryan is being honest? OK, I'll cheer louder now.

Listen Jets fans, you beat the Texans last week. The Texans. You beat Matt Schaub and Gary Kubiak. You faced no in-game adversity and an opponent that was flatter than month-old beer. Everyone wants to put Mark Sanchez's name on the Rookie of the Year trophy. Remember week 2 last year? Matt Cassel came to town and the Jets were going to show everyone who the new kings of the AFC East were? How did that go? Oh, wait it didn't. I can assure you the Pats win this game by two touchdowns. What a Pop Warner move here. This is the NFL. If you need your head coach to call to you so you make noise, you should stop going to games. Holy crap.

In the Crease With Javier Gorriti-Brett and Britney

Brett Favre has been an iconic figure, not just in the NFL, but American sports over the last 15 years. Personally, I have always been a big Brett Favre fan (not Peter King big, I don't want to actually date Brett) for how he's played the game and the fearlessness he's shown doing so. This is why it brings me great sadness to see what is possibly the beginning of Favre losing his mind a la Britney Spears. Britney too was an iconic pop figure who went from being America's darling to another crazy celebutard.

Much of this is media created of course. If anyone was listening to every word we said and broadcasted it to the world, we would sound crazy as well. Britney went, and is going through a similar hybrid media creation/accentuating the existing personality, over the past few years. That being said, crazy is crazy and Brett Favre has definitely given us some crazy over the past few years. The alarming thing is the rate at which it's increasing.

I'm not suggesting that Favre is going to start doing a ton of drugs and getting out of cars in short shorts with his junk hanging out, or shave his head and check into a Malibu rehab center, but some of the blurbs we are hearing on a weekly basis makes you scratch your head a little. First we heard that Brett was addicted to and abusing pain killers. I think most of us gave him a pass on that as we can all imagine the physical toll it must take on one's body to play QB in the NFL. The recent retirement saga that we have endured from Favre over the past 5 years was first seen as a guy legitimately trying to figure out if he still wanted to play, now is seen as an attention-grabber with the need to be in the spotlight at all times. I think this marked that change in perception, and reality, when it comes to Favre, we all saw him as an old gunslinger who lived to compete and win. Now he is seen as an attention whore. We used to see him as a guy that wanted to win above anything else. Now we see him as a guy who wants to beat the Packers above anything else. We used to see a guy that would never miss a game. Now Brett is talking about not being sure if he's up for playing all 16 this season. We used to see Favre as the ultimate tough guy who would play through pain and protect his locker room at all costs. Now Favre is tattle-taling on the Jets for their listing of his status on the injury report for each game.

To me it is sad to see the perception of Favre change in the public eye. He is still the winningest QB in the history of the NFL. Favre still leads in career TD's, yards, attempts, INT's(you have to play a long time to do that) and consecutive games started. Favre has had one losing season in his career and is one of the greatest QB's to ever play the game. I hope that Brett can stay out of the limelight, keep his mouth shut and continue to win games. He is 1-0 this season and a Super Bowl is well within the Vikings ability this year. Britney has been able to reinvent herself to some degree, I hope Brett can do the same.

Javier Gorriti, UMaine Black Bear from 1994-1998, is a frequent contributor to the CMSB and the PM JAB with Chris Sedenka. He is the president of Mermaid Seafoods in Portland ME. and has been working and living in Maine over the past 5 years. He can be reached at javier_gorriti at hotmail.com

Hit Like A Girl-The Sports Chip (No, Not the Dipping Kind)

I am currently experiencing sports overload. Too many seasons are converging and on more than one occasion I have screamed, “Tom Brady throws a pass to Krejci who hits a home run over the Green Monster!!” And then my boyfriend wakes me up, tells me that I’m doing “it” again, and then says, “So have you heard about Seymour getting traded?” followed by, “Papi just hit a home run!” And then my head explodes.

All I’m saying is that it’s tough work keeping up with all the sports news. I was getting used to watching just one sport, and now I’ve got football, hockey, and basketball (if I can stand the shoes squeaking for more than 5 minutes). These aren’t just any sports teams either. These are Boston sports teams. I’m not going to have any hair left come the spring. Plus, the Red Sox are still fighting for the wild card. I’m thrilled for the added fun of fall and winter sports.

Meanwhile, my boyfriend is sitting on his computer with Boston.com, NESN.com, and ESPN.com open, hitting refresh at a feverish pace. All of the information he acquires from the interweb will later be discussed with his friends or me. Usually it’s me since I tend to land directly in his sports-news-spewing path quite often.

Now, this brings me to what I really want to talk about: the fact that men have a sports chip implanted in their skulls.

You guys, I’m not even being sarcastic. I think I may actually believe this.

Exhibit A: The Boyfriend
The Boyfriend loves video games, writing, comic books, and sports. Somewhere in his English Lit-filled head there is space for all the aforementioned interests as well as a multitude of handy sports trivia. This includes events that happened before he was born. How? The Sports Chip.

Want to know which team the Red Sox lost to in the 1967 World Series? Want to know more about Bobby Orr than Bobby Orr himself? Want to know which round Brady was drafted in?! Call him up, he’s be happy to tell you. My earlobes are constantly accosted with stats, facts, and then… comic book news. AND he still remembers our anniversary. It’s all very strange.

Granted, The Boyfriend has enough free time to constantly refresh his brain with this information. BUT, I give you…

Exhibit B: The Father
The father loves sports, sports, sail boats, and sports. He teaches high school chemistry, coaches high school football, and coaches lacrosse at Merrimack College. Oh, and in his spare time he slings around nail guns doing contracting work. Oh, and in his spare, spare time he fixes my poor, decrepit, duct-tape car.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. He coaches multiple sports teams! Of course he knows about sports! No. This man could write a brief history of the New York Yankees, the New York Jets, and University of Miami football just with the information that is in his brain. Also, by brief I mean 1,000 pages each. In addition, he knows the most up-to-date sports news despite the fact that he has no free time and almost always falls asleep 10 minutes after the TV is turned on. I’m pretty sure there is a Sports Satellite in space that transmits information to his chip. There is no other explanation.

Finally, I present you with…

Exhibit C: The English Professor
The English Professor enjoys writing, reciting lines from random literary works, and bagels. The English Professor grew up in Brooklyn, New York, but has since moved to Massachusetts. Somehow, despite the fact that he spends 85% of his waking hours trying to teach people what good writing is, he is still able to talk sports with Exhibit A: The Boyfriend. And Boston sports at that.

Where did he acquire this information? I doubt the 1950’s in NYC were filled with chatter about important moments in Boston sports history. Besides that, how does someone who could probably recite all of Macbeth and remembers all the lyrics to any 60’s song have any recollection for Boston sports facts? I’m telling you, it was downloaded.

What do you think? I barely remember what I ate for breakfast an hour ago, so don’t even think about asking me Beckett’s ERA or Brady’s completion percentage. Remember that bit about my head exploding? It’s not pretty. Save yourself some time – just go ask the nearest man. They’re all Sports Bots, some just don’t realize it yet.

Samantha Lewis is the author of "Hit Like a Girl". She is the Creative Director of Northshore Editorial in Salem, MA and can be followed on Twitter

Mark Sanchez went to USC, right?

Mark Sanchez, the latest savior of the train-wreck known as the New York Jets, made an appearance at good friend Scotty McKnight's college game against Colorado St (McKnight play for the Colorado Buffaloes). That's all well and good to be on the sidelines supporting your friends, but do you have to dress yourself in Buffs gear? I'm not saying wear your USC hat, but maybe a a plain Nike shirt or something? Maybe this is Sanchez's way of getting back at Pete Carroll for his behavior at Sanchez's press conference announcing he was coming out for the draft. Or perhaps Sanchez is just dirty. (See what I did there? Yes, I know, it's awful, and it brings up horrible Dustin Diamond sex tape images)

Don't You Walk Out That Door!

I guess the "potential for career growth" was a little overstated in the classified ad?

The Boston College Eagles football program has had its share of success in recent years, even with its most recent bowl winning streak snapped by perennial SEC doormat Vanderbilt and its inability to win the ACC Title. Jeff Jagodzinski has maintained what it seems is a very respectable program, even though no one in the northeast pays attention, ever, for any reason. The latest developments from BC, however, should have people far and wide not only paying attention, but feeling a level of disgust.

According to ESPN's Chris Mortensen, Jagodzinski has been told by BC brass that he will be fired if he interviews for the vacant New York Jets head coaching job. They already have penciled offensive coordinator Steve Logan to take over in the event of Jags getting canned. Fired for interviewing? Really? What a way to nurture your employees. Think Steve Logan took notice of this? What if Logan aspires to coach at a program where its fans give a rat's ass or go to the NFL? Will they pull the "if you leave you can't come back" crap that teenagers in this country have heard from parents for decades? This should weigh on the mind of anyone affiliated with BC, because apparently if you interview for a promotion somewhere, your personal belongings will be in a box out back. Would you work at a company that did that?

Before this information came out, there was no publicizing of Jagodzinski's status on this, outside of the token "possible candidates" list, so it's not like he was publicly campaigning for the job or drawing attention to himself. Now Jags has to decide whether to interview for a job he may or may not get in sacrifice of a job he already has for an employer that is already pouring gas on the bridge, ready at a moments notice to light the match to burn it. Is the administration upset that BC lost to Vandy? Are they striking a blow for colleges like Iowa St who have seen coaches leave overnight? What is the motivation for acting like this? It will be amazing to see how this pans out, but one thing is for sure, BC is lucky the Men's B-Ball team beat UNC yesterday, as it will draw some attention away from this. In a week BC football will go back to being the subtitle on Page 12, but with short-sighted decisions like this one, they may be below yesterday's Horse Racing results sooner rather than later.

From Mangenius to Manmoron

Ah, ah geez guys, guys, I am going to get fired for this


Of course Mangini got fired. The Jets were the biggest disappointment in the NFL this year. The Jags? Look at how beat up their line was. The Boys? No chemistry and their QB went down for 3 weeks. Name any team you want, and none of them will have had the red carpet rolled out for them with a trip to the playoffs at the end of it.

First, the Jets and the rest of the AFC get the luck of the draw with schedule, getting both the NFC and AFC Wests–two divisions whose teams went 21-59 out of their own divisions. But what do the Jets do? Go 3-5 against those teams--let us remember the OT game in Oakland when you failed to score on three possessions. Sure they had 4 games on the West Coast, but so didn’t the Pats, and they went 3-1 unlike the Jets at 1-3.

If that wasn’t enough they brought in a ton of talent in the off-season with guys like Vernon Gholston, Calvin Pace, Kris Jenkins, Alan Faneca, Dustin Keller, Tony Richardson....and then they got the granddaddy of them all, Brett Favre. The QB Jets fans had yearning for since Broadway Joe. It appeared that this team that finished 4-12 would finish at least 8-8, maybe even 9-7.

Then the Jets got the biggest break, er, tear, they could’ve asked for--Tom Brady goes down for the season. The man that made the Patriots go was down for the season with just former 7th round pick Matt Cassel to take over. Then Rodney Harrison goes down in Week 6, followed Adalius Thomas in Week 10 and Tedy Bruschi in Week 14. It got so bad for the Pats that they had to pull Junior Seau off of a surfboard to play. Sure the Pats finishing 11-5 speaks more their resiliency than it does to the Jets collapse....BUT THIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE THE YEAR FOR THE JETS. Forget the surprising Dolphins and the underachieving Bills, you finished two games behind your chief rival in a year when you should have blown them out of the water.

Oh, and let’s not forget about the second half meltdowns of all meltdowns. You are 8-3 and coming off a win in Tennessee, their first loss of the year. Some are wondering if the Jets are the best team in the AFC and, with their light 5 game stretch to end the season, the team that will represent the AFC in the Super Bowl. Then New York goes out, crawls into bed, and takes the biggest, steamiest dump in its own bed by going 1-4 to close out the season against the Bills, Broncos, Niners, Dolphins and let’s not forget about that awful showing in Seattle.

I mean what the hell. Let’s recap. Light Schedule–check. Ton of talent brought in, including a QB that everyone in NY had been clamoring for–check. Chief rival loses starting QB year with the guy from Lucas coming into play–check. 8-3 with a game lead after week 12–check. And what do fans in New York get? A 9-7 team that finishes two games behind a MASH unit and a team that went 1-15 last year and signed the QB you let go to make for “Broadway Brett”.


It would be nice to see Mangini come back to the Pats. The Hoodie could always use a juice box boy

NFL Week 17 Final Injury Report

These Injury reports are for the three games that matter to the New England Patriots and there playoff chances...

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS at BALTIMORE RAVENS

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS
Status Report
PROBABLE RB Maurice Jones-Drew (knee)

BALTIMORE RAVENS Status Report
OUT LB Antwan Barnes (chest), WR Marcus Maxwell (hip)

QUESTIONABLE T Willie Anderson (foot), LB Jarret Johnson (calf), WR Derrick Mason (shoulder), S Ed Reed (thigh), RB Ray Rice (calf), CB Samari Rolle (ankle), T Adam Terry (knee), CB Fabian Washington (toe)

PROBABLE WR Yamon Figurs (head), DE Trevor Pryce (illness)

MIAMI DOLPHINS at NEW YORK JETS

MIAMI DOLPHINS

Status Report

QUESTIONABLE

CB Will Allen (groin), LB Channing Crowder (knee)

NEW YORK JETS

Status Report

QUESTIONABLE

WR Laveranues Coles (thigh), T Wayne Hunter (shoulder), LB Bryan Thomas (shoulder)

PROBABLE

LB Eric Barton (knee), WR Jerricho Cotchery (shoulder), LB David Harris (groin), DE Kris Jenkins (hip)

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS at BUFFALO BILLS

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

Status Report

OUT

LB Tedy Bruschi (knee), S Raymond Ventrone (jaw), G Billy Yates (hand)

QUESTIONABLE

LB Gary Guyton (ankle), T Mark LeVoir (ankle), CB Deltha O'Neal (ankle), LB Vince Redd (ankle), S James Sanders (abdomen), CB Lewis Sanders (shoulder), DE Richard Seymour (back), DE Ty Warren (groin)

PROBABLE

CB Ellis Hobbs (shoulder), T Matt Light (shoulder), DT Vince Wilfork (shoulder)

BUFFALO BILLS

Status Report

OUT

CB Jabari Greer (knee), WR James Hardy (knee)

DOUBTFUL

LB Teddy Lehman (groin), WR Roscoe Parrish (knee), T Jason Peters (knee)

QUESTIONABLE

RB Marshawn Lynch (shoulder), LB Kawika Mitchell (knee)

Big Game Brett? We Hope.

New England needs a Superhero.........ugh


So the New England Patriots' season comes down to this; win and hope for some help. While the Pats are taking on a Bills team they handled in Week 10 20-10, they need either the Jacksonville Jaguars to beat a very good Ravens team that has something to play for, OR the New York Jets to beat the surprising Dolphins. Neither prospect is very promising.

The Jags have won just 2 of their last 9 games (one against the hapless Lions), while the Ravens need to win to assure themselves a playoff spot, and with their second ranked defense the Ravens should have little trouble punching their ticket for the playoffs. That leaves the Pats needing Brett Favre and the New York Jets to beat the Fins--oh boy. The Fins have won 8 for their last 9 games--though just one win against a team with a winning record--while the Jets have looked as bad as those throwback jerseys they for whatever reason decide to pull out from time to time. The biggest reason for this tail spin? The man who was suppose to save the Jets--Brett Favre.

After winning 7 of 8 games from Week 4 through their stomping of the Titans in Week 12, the Jets have looked terrible in dropping 3 or their last 4. Over that stretch Favre has been one of the worst QBs in the league, completing fewer than 60% of his passes, averaging under 200 yards a game while throwing 6 picks to just 1 TD pass. The Jets are still in a position to win the AFC East only because of their Week 15 win over the Bills in which the defense scored 10 points in the fourth quarter while Favre and the offense mustered zero first downs. While Favre's play has been the primary cause for the Jets' recent struggles, the coaching staff also deserves to shoulder some of the blame.

That's because another trend that has coincided with the Jets recent and season struggles--Thomas Jones' carries. While most in New York have called for the ball to be in Favre's hands more often, the Jets need is to get the ball into Jones' hands--New York is 5-1 when he gets 20 or more rushing attempts, 4-5 when he is a pedestrian. Part of the reason for this correlation between the Jets' commitment to a running game and their winning football games is because of the problems the offense faces when it gets in 3rd and longs (6 yards plus). Favre's numbers in those situations are decent except that he often turns the ball over; 44/71, 478 yards, 6.73 YPA, 2/7 TD/INT. For whatever reason the coaching staff in New York decides at times to go away from the running game and Jones--as they did in Seattle where they rushed a total of 25 times during the game, with just 9 in the second half (3 more than they had on their first drive of the game, their longest of the game).

So, here is what we Pats fans need. First, show up and beat Buffalo. Though the Pats should win this game, the Bills will be looking to be the spoiler and keep the team that posted 56 on them the last time they met in Buffalo out of the playoffs. Next, we need Mr. Magini and company to commit to a running game that is third in the league in yards per carry at 4.8 and keep the offense (Favre) out of third and longs against the Fins. Otherwise we will probably see Favre hand the Fins the division, and the hatred for Favre will only increase in the northeast.

NFL Playoff Scenarios

Here are your 2008 Week 17 Playoff Scenarios

CLINCHED: Tennessee – AFC South and homefield advantage.

Pittsburgh – AFC North and first-round bye.

Indianapolis – Playoff spot

ELIMINATED: Buffalo, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Houston, Jacksonville, Kansas City, Oakland.

Miami clinches AFC East Division with:

1) MIA win OR

2) MIA tie + NE loss or tie.

Miami clinches a playoff spot with:

1) MIA tie + BAL loss.

New England clinches AFC East Division with:

1) NE win + MIA loss or tie OR

2) NE tie + MIA loss.

New England clinches playoff spot with:

1) NE win + BAL loss or tie OR

2) NE tie + BAL loss.

NY Jets clinch AFC East Division with:

• NYJ win + NE loss.

NY Jets clinch playoff spot with:

1) NYJ win + BAL loss.

Baltimore clinches a playoff spot with:

1) BAL win OR

2) BAL tie + MIA loss or tie OR

3) BAL tie + NE loss or tie OR

4) NE loss.

Denver clinches AFC West Division with:

1) DEN win or tie.

San Diego clinches AFC West Division with:

1) SD win.

CLINCHED: N.Y. Giants – NFC East and homefield advantage.

Arizona – NFC West.

Carolina – Playoff spot.

Atlanta – Playoff spot.

ELIMINATED: Detroit, Green Bay, New Orleans, St. Louis, San Francisco, Seattle, Washington.

Dallas clinches a playoff spot with:

1) DAL win OR

2) DAL tie + CHI loss or tie + TB loss OR

3) DAL tie + MIN loss or tie + TB loss OR

4) DAL tie + CHI loss + TB tie OR

5) DAL tie + MIN loss + TB tie.

Philadelphia clinches a playoff spot with:

1) PHI win + TB loss + MIN loss OR

2) PHI win + TB loss + CHI loss.

Atlanta clinches NFC South Division and a first-round bye with:

1) ATL win + CAR loss.

Carolina clinches NFC South Division and a first-round bye with:

1) CAR win or tie OR

2) ATL loss or tie.

Tampa Bay clinches a playoff spot with:

IF CHICAGO BEATS GREEN BAY:

1) TB win + DAL loss or tie OR

2) TB tie + DAL loss + MIN loss or tie OR

3) TB tie + DAL loss + CHI loss or tie OR

4) TB tie + DAL tie + MIN tie + CHI win or tie OR

5) TB tie + DAL tie + CHI tie + MIN win or tie.

Minnesota clinches NFC North with:

1) MIN win OR

2) MIN tie + CHI loss or tie OR

3) CHI loss.

Minnesota clinches a playoff spot with:

1) MIN tie + DAL loss + TB loss.

Chicago clinches NFC North Division with:

1) CHI win + MIN loss or tie OR

2) CHI tie + MIN loss.

Chicago clinches a playoff spot with:

1) CHI win + DAL loss or tie + TB loss or tie OR

2) CHI tie + DAL loss + TB loss.

Helmet Graphics Courtesy MGHelmets.com